245

Posted in Poems on November 17, 2014 by malshauntdelinarian

A hollow win
A tired night
A long conversation
A unnecessary fight
A line once drawn
Then rearranged
Then drawn again
The result the same
Beaten down
Once again
Limping slowly
A thought detained
Then suddenly
Allowed to win
Fearful silence
Quiet shame
A horse that won
Albeit lame
Pick your fights
Rabid or tame

When you spend your life picking only winners
And then you get turned down
You feel slightly disoriented
You feel spun around
I’ve gone through my life
Picking only fights I knew I’d win
I’ve always been slightly a sore loser
Something I’ve known true time and again
So I pick my rhymes and pick my words
In such a way not absurd
So I know I’ll win
Tried a true
When I lose a fight I feel slightly… askew
And when I’ve lost
And then I win
I feel taken aback
My mind starts to spin
I look for a reason
I start to get scared
Why this person
Backed down the stairs
A win that’s hollow
Isn’t a win at all
It’s forlorn and shallow
One where I cannot stand tall
In the end all I’ve really learned is that winning… really isn’t worth it. And it makes me want to fight for what I want even less. Not more.

244

Posted in Poems with tags , , , , , on April 14, 2013 by malshauntdelinarian

To form a poem in pentameter and slightly rhyme
To put word on a page to a beat and keep time
to make it so that when all is said and done
You maKe your words into a picture
As a whole, and as a song of one
To create a poem of pictures
To dance and keep the time
You have to really know
How to fucking rhyme

243

Posted in Poems with tags , , , , , , on April 14, 2013 by malshauntdelinarian

I
Try to
Sit here and
Reflect as I do
Reminiscing on
Memories of old
Thinking of things
The future may hold
Of all that may happen
Be they a loss, or a gain
If this moment right here
Will pass from memory like
A passing dream or a lost train
Ride into a city you know and love
Dancing to the sound of a h haunting harp
On the wings of a dove as they fly up above
All the while listening to sleep and soft slumber
As memories overtake you, like the deep shake of far off thunder.

240

Posted in Poems with tags , , , on April 14, 2013 by malshauntdelinarian

Growing up
Is both joyful and sad
You rejoice in what you have
And quietly morn what you once had
Finding love
Sit with an ipod next
To someone you love
Leaves you joyful and perplexed
Your heart fluttering like the wings of a dove
You think back
To times gone by
To a time you rejected your feelings
Rejected any notion you would have relied
On one person
It’s a foreign notion
To know without a doubt
To know he feels the same in and out
To be alone
To come back to
A cold and empty home
Where no light in your life has ever shown
You are filled
With joy harbored deep
As you watch him lying and stilled
and yet, somewhere inside, you quietly weep
Because you know
Deep inside your heart
That time has come and passed
Like the quiet fading notes on a long forgotten harp
That you
Without willingness or try
That time slipped slowly away
Forever gone, forever passing you by
And so
As this poem I write
I look on a boy I’m beginning to love
And smile with a slightly sorrow tinged sigh
Because I’m happy
Watching him sleep and lay
And reminisce on all the time
That has slowly, inevitably faded away

237

Posted in Poems with tags , on April 11, 2013 by malshauntdelinarian

A long and uneven road
Made of pavement old and cracked
It’s a long and lonely road
Traveling it with sadness with which you are wracked
No problem people in sight
Fully truly alone
Paved with broken dreams and lost hopes
One of your sons is coming home
At the end is an endless horizon
Of murky black water
As you reach the shore of this other world
You slowly begin to falter
The waters are choppy
Shrouded in myst
The faces of sorrow and suffering
Keep watch over a rundown skiff
One of your sons is coming home
Pay your coin of silver
Don’t leave me out here alone
Step on board
The ship for you alone
The sea traveled by cancer patients and soldiers
One of your sons is coming home
You step on board
Filled with hollow melancholy
This is the last stop on this otherworldly shore
You’ll never see these sands where you stood solitary
Pay your boarding fee
Watch as the oars start to row
To the county down
To where you reap what you sow
And your soul is weighted against a golden pound
A melancholy maiden
On a ship bobbing in the sea
Made by the tears of the damned
Of avarice and greed
You realize it’s true
When you die, you die alone
On the seas ridden by only the dead
One of your sons is coming home

234

Posted in Poems with tags , on April 9, 2013 by malshauntdelinarian

Post a diddy
Post a rhyme
I cant fucking think
Of a poem this time
I need number 8
So I post a shitty diddy
And do it rather pissidly
Because I cant fucking stop
The rhyming scheme no matter how increasingly
This is annoyingly
Toying with me
And now a shitty little ditty
Has turned into a pissy
Wholeheartedly
Halfassed attempt
To keep up with my poems
I’m away from that fucking rhyme finally
… fuck you brain.
This is ridiculous
And no, it’s not done intentionally
Welcome to aspergers fucked up mentality
Which is sadly my reality
Where it is now easier when typing these
To think in rhymes entirely
And yes I’m just rambling with with retardedly
No direction or stopping point quite figured out sadly
My fucking head is starting to hurt entirety
Because I’m thinking in shitty ditty fucktasticly annoying rhymes rhythmically
I’m stopping this inequivecly
Before my sanity
Wanders away from me
Entirely
The poem you just read was a mental mind fuck to type
Enjoy

230

Posted in Poems with tags , on April 9, 2013 by malshauntdelinarian

Fear is
To me
A foreign entity
It’s grip very rarely
Takes hold of me
But recently
By some irregularity
I find myself not just momentarily
Filled with a fear that riddles me rather fastly
Because for once I let down my which I do infrequently
And let my guard down in so I bared invulnerability
Which for me has never happened because I warily
Keep my feelings closed and only open them incrementally
But recently
I let myself do something so drastically
Against that part of me
That tried so full heartedly
To keep that so nobody could see
My vulnerability
And carefully
Sensually
Freely
Caresses me
Posessively
Gently
Yet hungrily
And willingly
Uncharacteristicly
I quite willfully
Let him into me
Both metaphorically
And literally
So he could see
My vulnerability
And it seemingly
Appears to me
That as an anomaly
I let him rather fondly
Embrace me
Caress me
See me
Completely
And it scares me

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